The End of the Day



I don't know why it is that no matter how much I listen to conference, I get to the end of the Sunday afternoon session and feel like I haven't learned enough, or felt enough of the Spirit, or absorbed all of what was meant for me.

I feel like I'm so thirsty for truth (don't get much on network tv) and it's so refreshing to hear it, that I don't want it to end. I hear the first hymn the Tab Choir sings and my soul sighs and feels home. We 'gather' around the Prophets in the 'tent' of our own home just like in King Benjamins day.
The last talk by the Prophet leaves me wishing for more! ...and guilty that during the 8 hours of conference, I didn't listen harder or become the organized, angelic, spiritual giant that I wish I was. I take notes and write down messages that meant something to me, but it doesn't seem like it's enough. The perfectionist in me says "Be a better person NOW! But the realist in me says "Enjoy the time listening to men and women of God and appreciate whatever Spirit you feel".
I love that I can multitask while I listen. But do I lose the message? Maybe sometimes, but I also think that it's like when I read the Book of Mormon. It's not just in the words where I learn spiritual things. It's the needed personal revelation that comes to me when I'm doing things that are asked of me.
Reading the Conference edition of the Ensign and listening to Relief Society lesson summaries brings those sacred prophetic messages to heart as I hear them repeated. Maybe then the organized, angelic, spiritual giant will appear!

Perfection is a journey, not a destination.

As much as I feel overwhelmed or guilty because I never feel like I'm organized enough, good enough, skinny enough, or smart enough, I really do like my life.
*I love to teach--even if those 10 out of 200 kids aren't living up to their potential no matter how much I try and inspire them.
*I love coming home at the end of a super busy and long day and knowing I really did work hard, even if I didn't get enough done.
*I love coming home to my DH, because he is glad to see me, patient that I spend more time at school than he does (he is a better-organized teacher than me), and he usually takes care of dinner. ha!
*I love weekends!
*I love my kids and all the people they have brought into my life--their spouses, their kids, and their friends and the lessons they taught me since they were born. Some lessons were easier on the heart than others, but I still learned.
*I love the Gospel and know that the Lord loves me in spite of my weaknesses and I know that He knows I try to be a little bit better every day.
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